HOW TO BE YOURSELF?
HOW TO BE YOURSELF?
Few days ago when I was walking with Cyryl on the beach, he said something really moving. I believe everyone would like to hear their loved one saying this simple statement. Just as much as everyone would like to say it to their special someone. So simple yet so important: “… you know, I can be me when I’m with you”
If you think about it, you probably wouldn’t say those words to many people. We show some of our emotions and behaviors only in front of the loved ones. Usually we expose only a small part of ourselves, and generally just the part we want to show. We are someone completely different for our colleagues, for our neighbors, for our family… Usually in many situations we put a mask on. Our behavior is different in different social circles. Why? Often we need to adapt to certain situations and behave in a socially acceptable way. It is an important skill we learn when we grow up. But sometimes we are not really ourselves even if it wouldn’t go against any common rules.
I think that we are not ourselves because of the fear of being judged and the fear of the confrontation. We don’t want to stand out because we are afraid of what other people might think of us. We would rather stay safely average than speak up and show everyone who you really are.
Fear of being yourself may affect many aspects of your life: the way you behave in a group, the way you talk, the ability to say no. You can express yourself in seemingly trivial matter – choosing your outfit. I’ve worked in fashion for years and I know that quite often the way you dress reflects your character. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that what you wear is the most important thing in the world. I’m not saying this is the only thing defining your identity. But it is one of important ways of expressing yourself and your individuality. The fear of being yourself might be also a fear to dress a bit unusual.
I’m sure you’ve seen someone dressed really nice and thought “I wouldn’t have a courage to wear it” (because of flashy colors or too much pattern and so on).
How to be yourself. How can we cross this invisible line limiting us?
– At first, we need to think and analyze. Is it the fear that makes me do things not the way I’ve planned… If you feel you did something against yourself It is the high time to change something. We need to leave our comfort zone and start a change.
– To start the change in your life you need to remember: it doesn’t matter what other people think. Very often we are not ourselves because we are afraid of being judged. How others opinion influence the way we behave? Is what other people think more important than what you think? It shouldn’t. You never know, maybe someone is blocking you, to gain own success. You can miss your opportunity when the fear blocks you.
– Be proud of who you are. Think positively about yourself. Our self-esteem is really important. When we believe in what we do, no criticism can stand in our way.
I was inspired to write this text by my colorful outfit created in cooperation with Desigual… Probably many of you think you would be too embarrassed to wear that. Such a colorful outfit draws everyone’s attention. But once you find something you like, go ahead and try it out. You can try something crazy from time to time and wear some wild patterns and exotic colors. Don’t worry about what other people might think… It’s really not worth it! Very often when I wear a hat I notice people looking at me with curiosity. But you know what… Why should I be embarrassed? They should be ashamed to stare at me. It is important to wear clothes that really feel like your style you should always stay yourself. It is you who define your style, not the other way round! :)
All of my other coaching guides can be found in the bookmark labelled Secret. :)
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